I am a living contradiction.
I am fire and ice
Screaming and silence
A whirlwind and stillness.
I am the definition of opposites attract
Except those opposites are inside me.
I am outwardly calm
As a storm rages within.
I am all smiles when tears threaten to fall.
I am anger and rage when all I want is kindness.
I turn a blind eye when I want someone to see me.
I am switched around, flipped upside down, spun every which way.
I swear I think I’m walking in a straight line
But it leads me straight to a cliff.
Because “I’m fine” means “Help me”.
I stare at a map that leads from nowhere to nowhere
Pretending it will get me back to a home I don’t know anymore.
I am lost
And lost again.
And thrown away.
I am whole
But, oh so, broken.
I yearn to fixed
But I stare at the cracks and rips and call them a part of me.