I am a living contradiction.

I am fire and ice

Screaming and silence

A whirlwind and stillness.

I am the definition of opposites attract

Except those opposites are inside me.

I am outwardly calm

As a storm rages within.

I am all smiles when tears threaten to fall.

I am anger and rage when all I want is kindness.

I turn a blind eye when I want someone to see me.

I am switched around, flipped upside down, spun every which way.

Dizzy

Confused

Disoriented

I swear I think I’m walking in a straight line

But it leads me straight to a cliff.

Because “I’m fine” means “Help me”.

I stare at a map that leads from nowhere to nowhere

Pretending it will get me back to a home I don’t know anymore.

I am lost

Then found

And lost again.

Picked up

Inspected

And thrown away.

I am whole

But, oh so, broken.

I yearn to fixed

But I stare at the cracks and rips and call them a part of me.