Have you ever felt like you’re not you?
Like you’ve been put in the wrong body and every movement is just alien and foreign like it’s all wrong…
The hands on the ends of these arms don’t belong to you,
The legs that carry you from place to place aren’t yours to control.
Do you ever hit a wall and everything shuts down?
Every sense so dull that it’s all just phantom pains…
I’ve read that amputees sometimes feel pain from a limb that’s no longer there
Except I’m not missing anything
Nothing physical at least
But there’s something wrong
A piece of me is gone
And I don’t know if I never had it and I’ve only just realized
Or if I lost it without ever knowing…
Have you ever felt like that?
It’s like I’ve been drained of everything that keeps a normal person alive
But here I am
A phantom of a human being
Not quite alive but not all gone
Stuck in this Limbo where nothing exists
And a knick and a sting here or there
Bringing temporary bliss
Then back into Limbo
As if it has its own gravitational pull
Why is that?
What’s dragging me back to this place?
There is no safety or comfort in it
Something that pulls me in
Let’s me get a few steps away
Then reels me back
Back into this numbness
But it’s okay
It always does
But before long
It’s back again
~ Quill x