Hello World −
Well? I’m sure it’s pretty obvious what I’m going to talk about.
I myself am bisexual. I can be attracted to both men and women. Though if I’m honest sex and gender doesn’t matter to me and, when if it comes up in conversation, people sometimes ask if I’m pan. To which I say, “I don’t know. Maybe?”
But that’s a topic for another post. My main focus right now is bisexuality and my experiences with this part of my identity.
Now I’ve always been pretty open about my sexuality. It’s not like I waved a flag and announced I was bi through a bullhorn. But if the topic of romance or romantic partners came up, I would mention it. However, there are always those people who say things or ask questions that make me think, “what the fuck,” and give them a look. You know the look.
Here’s a few of the those things:
- “Bi people are so greedy. Leave some people for the rest of us.”
- “But you’re basically straight when you’re dating a guy, right?” OR “Oh, you have a girlfriend? So you’re lesbian now.”
- “Isn’t [insert significant other] worried you’ll cheat on them?”
- “You’ll have to choose eventually.”
First of all, no.
Saying any of these things to me or anyone else who’s bi is beyond frustrating and I will not hesitate to correct you. So, stop.
Now let’s break down why these things are so irritating.
One: Bisexual people as a group aren’t greedy.
Yes, my attraction to another person isn’t limited to a single sex or gender. But that doesn’t mean I want to steal your significant other. Nor do I want to engage in an open or polyamorous relationship (again, a completely different topic for another time). And anyways, it’s really none of your business who someone wants to be in a relationship with.
Two: Dating someone of a different/same sex doesn’t make me “basically” straight/gay.
Allow me to put it another way. My current relationship doesn’t define my sexuality. Whether my significant other is a man / woman / somewhere in between / none of the above doesn’t mean I’m not bisexual. I’m bi, I don’t understand what’s so hard to understand.
Three: Just because someone’s bi, doesn’t mean they’re more likely to cheat.
Now this one- this one I REALLY don’t get. For me, personally, I’m a pretty particular (cough picky cough) person. Sure, I have more “options” as far as potential romantic partners because my attraction isn’t technically limited to one demographic but I still have a type? There are certain qualities that I find attractive in people and other traits that make me think, “No thanks”. And apart from that, I’m not the kind of person who would cheat on my partner. I can’t speak for other people, so don’t expect them to speak for me (or the rest of us, for that matter).
Four: … The fuck do you mean I’ll have to “choose”.
This pisses me off to no end. Sure, I might settle down with a single person one day but that’s absolutely none of your business. And once again, how that person identifies doesn’t change my sexuality. I’m still fuckin’ bi. It’s not a difficult concept.
Wow, this got a lot angrier than I wanted it to be but I’m honestly tired of correcting people. I’m bi, that’s all you really need to know and even that is private information that I’m just generous enough to share with people. And I share these things because I feel it needs to be said. Because the more that diverse groups are able to share, the more other people can learn. This is the fight against ignorance, the fight that all minority groups continue struggle with. But we’re doing it. Moment by moment, we are using our voices to prove that we ARE here. And someone else’s ignorance won’t erase us.
Stay gay and until next time,
~ Miss Misfit