We’ve all done it. Fallen headfirst into our ignorance and thought or said something really fucking stupid. I certainly have, far more than I’m proud of. But it’s important to look back at the moments we’re not proud of in order to learn from them. Especially if I continue to call myself a feminist.
Surprisingly enough, I’ve had the most prejudice towards communities I identify with. But the one I need to address at the moment is the LGBTQ+ community.
Confronting my Biphobia:
Before learning that there was more to this world than straight and gay, I was one of those assholes that thought being bi made you “greedy”. I thought bisexuality meant being half gay and half straight and that bi individuals would eventually “pick a side”. I thought it meant being attracted to men and women equally; and that the only existing genders were men and women.
In short, I was an absolute fucking bigot. Are you pissed at past me? Don’t worry, I am too. If I could go back and lecture my younger self then I would but unfortunately time isn’t that forgiving.
I’m very aware of the flaws of this thinking and how harmful it is to bi people. And when I identified as bi, I tried to forget that I thought these things while also feeling incredibly guilty that I did.
Confronting my Transphobia:
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have many experiences with trans people. In fact, I can count the people I personally knew were trans on one hand. But I simply didn’t understand.
I wondered why some people chose surgery and why some didn’t. I wondered why some people chose to start transitioning with hormones and why others didn’t. I was curious about who someone was before, during, and after. I wanted to know why people made the choices they did.
I’m sure you’d like to punch past me in the face. Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
And please understand, I never meant it in a harmful way and I kept these thoughts to myself. More than anything I just really wanted answers because I’m a nosy little bitch.
I see now that how other people identify and how they choose express that, is none of my fucking business. I have no right to ask someone about something so personal and if someone chose to tell me their story then that would be privilege that only that person is allowed to tell.
These are the main things that I’ve had to deal with within myself. Again, I’m not proud of any of this but I think it’s important to recognize that anyone can be ignorant and bigoted. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, bi, white, POC, trans, etc. Being a minority doesn’t excuse that behavior. So I’m writing this to come clean and show that you have to learn from these mistakes, there’s really no excuse not to in my opinion.
I hope what I had to say resonated with someone and that you know that it’s okay to mess up as long as you try to be better.
Until next time x