It Is What It Is


As I’m writing this, I’m dealing with something that’s making me incredibly feel guilty. Things aren’t going so well and I’m pretty anxious (Thanks, Aunt Flo). But let’s backtrack to the beginning.

I am in a position where I won’t be able to work a few days this week and I had to tell my manager so I could get my shifts covered. But unfortunately, those shifts are going to be covered¬†by my manager; who is generally overworked and definitely deserves better treatment than what goes on at my job.

And I feel like an absolute piece of shit.

Guilt is normal and I know that what I feel is definitely normal; to an extent.¬† But I feel like the worst fucking person alive and I’m afraid of being fired, despite this being utterly out of my control and that I do good work. I know I do good work and that I’m a valuable employee, but I hate disappointing others.

I hate being a burden and an inconvenience. I hate it when I can’t follow through with something I am/was committed to doing. I hate that I feel the need to apologize for something that isn’t my fault.

Because I also know that this isn’t my fault, it’s something beyond my control.

It is what it is and I can’t stop that.

I just have to accept it.

Until next time x

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