So I say this a lot, but if you follow me on Twitter then you will know that I got to see Dan and Phil at their show (Interactive Introverts) in San Diego last Wednesday. Or yesterday according to when I’m writing this. But that’s beside the point.
A year ago, I bought a VIP ticket not only to see the show but also to meet Dan and Phil.
So let’s fast-forward to yesterday, the day of the show. I get to the venue early to line up for the meet and greet that comes with the VIP pass. It’s a little slow-going but I eventually make it to the front of the line and I give my name. It’s not on the list.
The ticket guy asks me to wait to the side and has someone check for me in the system so I can go in. But guess what? My name wasn’t there. Because I didn’t get VIP.
Yep, I thought I bought something that I didn’t so for the past year I have been getting my hopes higher and higher with the thought of meeting the two people I’ve looked up to and who’ve inspired me for seven years (yes, I’ve been watching them since I was 14).
I ended up thanking the staff for helping me and half-walked, half-ran from the lobby. I found a bench in the shade on the side of the theatre and tried not to cry. That didn’t work for very long.
I was pretty much sobbing but also trying to be quiet about it. I kept my head down and pulled my hat as low over my face as I possibly could, wiping my face with my flannel.
So yeah, getting over disappointment is hard. And I can’t fully say I’m “over it” either, simply because I am incredibly emotional.
Here’s the thing, disappointment is hard because of a little something called Hope. In my opinion, hope is one of the most human emotions. And losing hope and feeling disappointed is one the most painful experiences a person can have.
The more someone hopes the harder disappointment hits. It’s the difference between a cafe running out of your favorite muffin before you could get there and planning a big trip to meet with someone you love and miss only for something to fall through and now you can’t.
So dealing with that disappointment is difficult to say the least, it’s why many times people will choose to not care; as if they can stop the hurt before it ever reaches them. But I find that it’s rare for someone to truly and fully give up hope and not care. It’s very against human nature. Almost everyone has something they care about.
So when I’m told to get over my disappointment, I feel furious and insulted. How dare you decide how long I can confront this mess of emotion! I’m allowed feel these things, I know that. Just as long as I don’t wallow in them and I don’t do that as much as I used to.
I feel like I went off on a bit of a tangent and there’s no way for me to wrap this up with a neat little bow. So I guess I’m ending it here.
Until next time x