Picking My Battles – Part 1

Not every battle needs to be fought.

It took me a long time to learn this. I was raised to be a fighter and always go after what I wanted no matter the cost. I was taught that the only one I can count on to fight these battles is me. I was convinced that turning away from a fight meant I was giving up and that I lost.

I realize now that this line of thinking lead me to a lot of dead ends and dark places.

Going after something no matter the cost might sound like a noble creed but sometimes the cost is greater than any reward is worth. I used to sacrifice my time, energy, and parts of myself to fight battles that just weren’t worth it. And all I would end up with was a hollow sense of accomplishment and heartbreak. If I was lucky. And sometimes, not even that.

I do think there is some truth in the idea that you have to be able to fight for yourself but that doesn’t mean that you can’t rely on others to help you. This life is too short and too hard to fight alone. There’s no shame in asking for help.

For a long time, I didn’t know that I was allowed to step away from a fight. I thought it was something I always had to see through to the end. Regardless of how I badly I would come out the other side. I just didn’t know how to walk away. I always had get involved.

If I’m being honest, I still don’t really know how to pick my battles. I’m too combative and emotional to not fight. It’s such a deeply ingrained part of my personality for me to ignore. I used to get really annoyed or aggressive when people would say something ignorant or close-minded. Or when they would do something so unfathomably stupid that I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Honestly, I still do. But I’ve come to learn that other people aren’t my responsibility. Can I try to educate others and help them realize their own ridiculousness? Absolutely! Am I obligated to stick around when they obviously won’t change or even listen? Not at all.

I have my own life to take care of. I can’t spend all of it fighting others. I have more important battles.

There was more I wanted to add to this post but it would’ve made this one much longer than it has to be and goes in a very different direction so I wanted to leave it here for now. Part two should be up by the end of the week.

Until next time x

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