I used to hate makeup, and everything else “girly” but let’s focus on the makeup for now.
The only reason I started using makeup was because of dance. Like any team, we had a uniform and makeup was just part of that uniform. At least for competitions.
And for a while, competitions were the only reason I did makeup. But being surrounded by people who did their makeup regularly did make me curious. So I started wearing eyeliner and mascara to class, I experimented with foundation and eyeshadow and lipstick until I found a style that I was comfortable with. Which was still just eyeliner, mascara, and very neutral eyeshadow.
This was my safe zone, a point where I still felt like myself but slightly more defined version of myself. This was the point where I learned how to draw attention to the parts of me I liked.
And over time I learned new skills that helped me play up the strengths in my features and it was exciting. I used to think makeup was used only as a way of hiding things you didn’t like but that isn’t all there is to it. It can be a way to accentuate and bring out the things you like.
And in the past few months, I decided to start going all out.
If you look at my earlier Instagram posts then you’ll probably notice a trend of very similar looks. Lots of simple earth tones and neutral colors that are pretty forgiving, even when I fucked up. It was a very safe way to do makeup and easy enough to enhance with my now signature cat-eye liner. I say signature because I go almost nowhere without at least my liner done, it’s a part of me now.
But I was starting to get really bored of it. So I decided I had to change it up.
I was told once that because of my skin tone I should stick to neutral colors. Now I’ll be the first to say that I like the way some colors look on me more than others. But at the same time, I have fallen in love with using crazy colors in odd combinations to make art on my face.
I never fully realized that the beautiful makeup I see on other people is something I can do on myself. And I can absolutely pull it off.
Sometimes I pick random colors. Sometimes I have a theme. Sometimes I ask other people to choose for me.
But now that I’ve expanded my horizon by experimenting with color, it’s almost harder to do “normal” makeup.
I was already a creative person but makeup has been a way for me to show my creativity, not only in a new way but in a way that I can show off. Because, yes, I’m showing off. I’m proud of the skills I’ve built up so far and I want people to see what I can do. And yes, it’s nice to hear people compliment my makeup.
And I don’t say this because I “need” outside validation. I already have a very healthy ego and I don’t need any help there. But I still appreciate it when other’s acknowledge the work and effort that I put into my looks.
In a way, using color had taught me more about makeup than when I played it safe. Learning how to pick complementary colors and blend and play with ways to make it all work together makse me excited to do my makeup every day. Outside of writing, it’s my artistic outlet.
Makeup makes me happy and keeps me grounded. Just the act of getting my tools together and putting makeup on gets me into a mindset of “Okay, I’m going out. I can do that. I can go to work/the store/an event/etc”. It’s my armor. And I’m pretty proud of it.
Until next time x